The Best Medicine?
by MissXeli
Summary: Or, Close Encounters of the Bird Kind. XD A very... odd.. enemy encounter. Some minor hinting at StanAri near the end. Oneshot.


Alright, attempt # 2 at a random Okage one-shot. A few years post-game, just some pointless silliness. There's minor hinting at Stan/Ari near the end, so if that sort of thing ain't your cup of tea, just don't read it. It's very mild hinting anyway.

...Also, please don't hurt me for the title. I couldn't help myself. XD

- - - - -

The Best Medicine?

-or-

Close Encounters of the Bird Kind

- - - - -

Ari nearly laughed out loud at how ridiculous it was. He'd accidentally disturbed a nest of odd yellow birds while wading through a patch of underbrush, and now a dozen of the tiny things were hovering in front of the two men in an obvious attack formation.

The young man shrugged and unsheathed his sword, glancing over to find his traveling companion looking equally skeptical. Stan seemed like he wasn't sure what to make of the situation as he eyed the weak-looking birds in disbelief. After a moment he sighed and waved a hand dismissively. "This is stupid. I don't have time for this. Do something about them, slave."

Ari jerked his head in a brief nod and dashed forward, intending to scare their would-be attackers off with his sword. Instead of fleeing, they simply dodged the swinging weapon and darted back in to peck at him rapidly. The redhead swore and retreated back to Stan hastily, batting at the persistent creatures as if they were a swarm of bees. Rubbing his abused noggin, he gave his master a plaintive look. The tall blond only snorted.

"Come now, boy, don't tell me you're having trouble dealing with a handful of birds," he scoffed. "I didn't think you were _that_ pathetic."

"Oh, thanks a _lot_, Stan," Ari grumbled under his breath, shooting a glare at their tiny attackers. They couldn't be all that tough, he decided, they were just so bloody _fast_…

Stan was shaking his head at his slave's bizarre display of incompetence. "Very well, I'll show you how to take care of these pests," he announced as he marched forward, tongues of flame licking up from his palm. With a dry snort conveying just how little he thought of this pesky obstacle, he threw the crackling ball of fire dead centre into the formation.

To his embarrassment, the swift little birds avoided it easily. Growling in annoyance, he threw off another shot, and then another, and another. Seeing that none of his attacks were connecting, he paused long enough to roar at them in frustration. The small birds instantly seized the opportunity, and a very irate Stan was driven back by a flurry of sharp little beaks.

Ari silently offered his master a consoling pat, only to have his hand slapped away for his efforts. Stan clearly wasn't happy about being shown up by a handful of birds in front of his servant, if the glint of rage in his cold yellow eyes was anything to go by. "Get back, slave," he ordered in a furious snarl, and the redheaded boy was shoved back roughly. Ari blinked in hurt confusion and opened his mouth to protest, only to realize that Stan had literally meant for him to get back and find cover. The proud demon had obviously had enough of this ridiculous encounter, and was forming a rather large spell…Shit, what was he thinking, he was going to blow up the entire grove! Ari yelped and back-pedalled, wondering if he'd even have enough time to get out. Had Stan gone insane?

Luckily, he didn't have to find out, because right at that moment the birds cast a spell of their own. Ari covered his eyes as Stan lost focus and his spell dissipated in a blinding flash. He pulled his arm down from his face warily, looking around to see if Stan was all right, and suddenly started to giggle.

Startled, he clamped both hands tightly over his mouth to keep the laugher in, but he couldn't help it. Why was he laughing? Stan would be furious! And he didn't even know what was so funny! Spasms of mirth rippled through his belly and he pressed his palms harder to his mouth until he couldn't breathe anymore. He did his best to give Stan a pleading look when the other man spun around to glare at him, hoping the demon would show some mercy if he looked repentant enough.

That, unfortunately, was his undoing. Stan looked like he wasn't sure whether to feel more baffled, hurt, or angry at being laughed at, and his expression was so comical that Ari had a good reason to laugh now. His hands dropped down to hang limply at his sides as he doubled over, laughing so hard his legs threatened to give way under him.

"Slave!" Stan yelled, bristling at the insult, "What on.. wh-what on e-earth…what's gotten into.. into…" Ari glanced up at the odd tremor in the other man's voice, still tittering helplessly, and was more than a little surprised to find that the blond had sunk to his knees beside him, laughing into his wrist. "Wh.." he gasped between giggles. "What the.."

Realization dawned on Ari as he glanced at the smug-looking birds. "I-it's…" he chortled, "That… that spell… they must've…"

"Well… well DO s-something.." Stan ordered, waving weakly in the direction of their assailants as he shook with false amusement. "I can't… I c-can't cast spells l-like this.."

Ari nodded and slowly straightened up, even though his stomach muscles hurt so much from trying not to offend his master a moment ago. He took a step forward, snickering helplessly, and bent to retrieve his fallen sword, only to have it slip out of his limp grasp before he'd even stood up again. Sadly, this only made him laugh harder. "I… I really c-can't…" he managed to get out, before he sunk down onto his rear end and howled with merriment.

"H-here, let me try..." Stan shakily got to his feet, attempting to form a spell, but the best he could do was a weak fizzle. He attempted to snarl around his giggles, and the resulting noise made them both whoop with laughter. "C-can't…focus… s-stupid birds…" he bit out, wiping tears from his eyes with one sleeve. "I'll k-kill the little.."

"W-we should… we should escape." Ari giggled, seizing onto Stan's wrist to haul himself up. This only made Stan fall down instead, and the two of them lay in the bushes, howling like idiots.

It took Ari several minutes before he managed to roll onto his feet and stand up. "I th-think it's wearing off…" he panted, the occasional chuckle still escaping his lips. Stan glared at him, still going strong, and Ari reached down to help him up.

"I'm s-so going to… I'm going to…" he protested, jerking his head meaningfully towards where the birds had been when he couldn't finish his sentence. Ari shook his head and tugged Stan in the other direction, still grinning like a fool. His belly was aching like he'd just done a million sit-ups, but luckily Stan was in no condition to resist much. The redhead shot a glare towards the bushes that had triggered this whole mess, and could have sworn the birds were laughing right back at them.

- - - - -

"Well, it could have been worse," Ari said, gingerly dabbing at Stan's forehead with one stream-soaked corner of his shirt. Those birds had obviously been a lot more angry with the shadow demon than with the boy, because they'd hit hard enough to break the skin in some areas. Stan flinched away as Ari came across an especially tender spot, and the boy quickly cooed an apology.

"How could it have been worse?" Stan groused, staring at his knees as his slave tried to patch him up. His head didn't hurt nearly as much as his pride, and he still couldn't quite meet Ari's eyes yet. "We couldn't cast spells, we couldn't fight back, we could barely stand up…Those pesky little feather balls mopped the floor with us! I've never felt so humiliated…" he lamented. "Just wait, I'm going to go right on back there and blow that stupid little clump of trees sky high, and then we'll see who's laughing! Ha!"

"Well, what I meant was, it was a pretty harmless spell they cast on us," the younger man pointed out. "It didn't poison us or hurt us much, or confuse us into attacking each other or make us fall asleep. We just…started laughing. It could have been a lot worse."

"I suppose you're right," Stan reluctantly admitted, "But even so, it was too embarrassing! They were mocking us! If I ever get my hands on those smug little beak-faced pea-brained worm-eaters, I'll ring their little yellow necks! I'll tie their feathers together, I'll light their tails on fire, I'll put superglue in their nests, I'll-OW! Slave!"

"Sorry!" Ari looked down at the blond demon seated in front of him and smiled sheepishly. "I'm almost done," he added, digging around in his tiny first aid kit. It wasn't much, but there were basic supplies for tending to minor wounds. Ari figured it was better to save his healing magic for more serious injuries. He fished out a band-aid and began peeling off the wrapper. "Here, hold still."

Still grumbling, Stan complied. He wrinkled his forehead slightly at how the sticky bandage felt being applied to his skin, and raised a questioning eyebrow as Ari drew back.

"Sorry, it was bleeding a bit," Ari shrugged as he closed the little tin box that held his meagre collection of medical supplies. "Better now?"

"Yes, uh… thank you." Stan mumbled half-heartedly. Ari smiled and offered him a hand up, which he brushed away grouchily.

"Aw, cheer up, I still say it could have been a much worse spell," the younger man chirped, falling into step beside Stan as they made their way back towards the path they'd been following. "I could think of a million more embarrassing spells than being forced to laugh."

"Oh?" Stan glanced at his servant, curious as to what his young imagination could think up. "Such as?"

"Well..." Ari began, "Like…being really gut-wrenchingly starving all of a sudden. Or having to find a bathroom really fast. Or only being able to speak in Donkey." Stan chuckled at this, and Ari continued. "Or some kind of spell to make us trip over everything. Or a love spell…"

"Wait, wait…" Stan cut in. "Did you just say 'love spell'?"

Ari blinked at Stan's sudden interruption. "Um…yeah…why?" Stan was giving him an odd expression, and Ari blinked again, feeling his cheeks go hot. "I just think it'd be a really awkward spell to get caught in, is all…"

"But what made you come up with a love spell, of all things?" One blonde eyebrow rose higher.

"I… don't know?" Ari offered lamely. Honestly, he'd just said it because it came to mind as being really embarrassing, why did it matter so much?

Stan just shook his head and looked away, but not before Ari noticed the slow spread of colour across his cheeks. "Really, slave, sometimes you come up with the weirdest ideas in that silly head of yours…honestly, what made you even say something like that?" He muttered as he kept walking ahead. Ari stopped in his tracks and watched Stan's retreating back, frowning. That silly Evil King made no sense sometimes. So what if he'd mentioned a love spell? Why should that get Stan so jumpy all of a sudden?

"Slave, quit dawdling and hurry up!" Stan called back, and Ari jumped, scrambling to catch up before the demon left him behind.


End file.
